Today's Humor

In another posting RockyMtnRay suggested that I might be moonlighting as a standup comedian. Wish I were. I just am an observer of the humon condition, and I gotta tell you, we humans sure are a funny species.

So one of the roles I see myself having is to communicate to others some of the things we humans do and say that tickle the funny bone inside all us. And one of the things I've found is that we are funniest when we aren't even trying.

Below illustrates the point. All the items listed appeared as actual advertisments in newspapers throughout the US. In some of these, I know the individual did not set out to be a Jay Leno; however, I'll let you decide. Hope you enjoy these:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE *****.
>----------------------------------
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 SPRINGER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
>-----------------------------
FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG
------------------------------
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
>-------------------------------------
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE... BETTER BE A REWARD.
>-----------------------------------
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
>----------------------------
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS!
>---------------------------
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
>-------------------------------
NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
>-------------------------------------
HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
>----------------------------------------
GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
------------------------------------------
NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
-----------------------------------------
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 PER HOUR.
>-------------------------------------------
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS &BOX SPRINGS - $175.
>-------------------------------------------
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
>------------------------------------------
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER!
>------------------------
OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
>--------------------------------------
(AND THE BEST ONE)

FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. Husband knows everything.

Ed