2720 vs. 3124kb??? reality of tow rating?

OK- here I am, a soccer mom that wants to give my kids the summers that I used to have. Tooling around the country in a camper and seeing everything to be seen.. without the DVD in play.

I am in the midst of purchasing a minivan. I am also in the process of purchasing a Trailmanor. I had my heart set on the 3124kb, for versatility and storage capacity. Now I am looking at minivan tow ratings, and can't find one rated over 3500lbs.

So, I am now thinking that somethings gotta give... or does it?

Does anyone know of a minivan that can be upgraded to tow more?
How disappointed will I be to give up the 3124 in lieu of the 2720 in order to scrape in under the tow capacity?
Now for my 'dumb girl that doesn't know much about cars' question... how real are those tow ratings? Can they be pushed, or will you really be entering a danger zone?
Would I be better off to give up on the minivan and move to a SUV (much less useful to me in the day to day) in order to retain the ability to pull a bigger cargo?
Any help will be appreciated.