[Bill]

Wow! You guys are asking a lot of very good questions. It is clear that you are doing your homework, and thinking about all the issues. You are going to get lots of responses, so let me just throw in a few thoughts to get it started.

Tow vehicle tow ratings are a favorite topic on this forum. There is no one true answer, but over the years, the concensus on this board seems to have settled on 5000 pounds as an adequate but not generous rating, particularly if you plan to tow in uplands or with a lot of weight. Although some members don't feel comfortable unless they have a higher rating, and some members feel that they are happy with a lower rating, it seems that 5000 pounds is a good compromise.

Tow ratings have always been an interesting discussion, since there has never been a definition of that term. Car manufacturers could (and did) claim pretty much whatever they wanted to claim. But now, starting with the 2013 model year, there is finally a standard definition of tow rating that all manufacturers live by, and the tests that a vehicle must pass to claim a given rating. (SAE standard J-2807) If you are thinking about a 2013 model, this will be very helpful to you, as ratings will have a lot less mystery. In addition, it will help you to answer the V-6 vs V-8 question.

Although you say you won't take much stuff along, and you expect your trailer weight to be 4000 pounds, you should be aware that it may be more and probably won't be less. This is a common experience among our members. This will be even more true when you think about taking 2 or 3 kids (and their stuff!) in addition to 2 adults. Beyond that, any weight you carry in the tow vehicle counts against the tow rating in most cases. Look for the asterisk or footnote in the tow ratings spec!

Loaning your rig to family members? You are brave. For one thing, do you know what it will weigh when they pack it, rather than you? Will they drive as carefully and conservatively as you do? Remember that you will accumulate experience with the rig - they won't.

Your husband says that when you get into the mountains, going slower and taking it easy will be a good thing. Although it is counter-intuitive, this is not always true. I have a transmission temp gauge in my Explorer, and I find that when climbing a grade, the transmission gets much hotter when we climb slowly. The tranny actually runs substantially cooler when we can maintain 60 mph or so. And it has become clear that it is road speed, not engine speed, that counts. I can only think that this is due to the reduced airflow through the transmission cooler at low road speed. Take that for what it is worth - but I strongly suggest to everyone that a ScanGauge, AeroForce Gauge, or something similar, is an excellent investment. For $100, you get more value from that gauge than from any other option or accessory that I can think of. Transmissions are EXPENSIVE!

If any of your prospective vehicles has a TOW/HAUL mode, I think that fact should be weighted quite highly in your decision. My Explorer does not have it, and I would pay real money to get it. As I understand it, a tow/haul mode locks up the transmission's torque converter, which is where most of the heat comes from. For various reasons, most vehicles allow the torque converter to slip a bit under normal conditions. That's fine when the vehicle is driven solo, but it is bad when towing a load. PopBeavers, among others, has some experience with Tow/Haul mode - look for his posts.

I'm not sure about $2000 up front for a V-8, or $800 a year for extra gas for a V-8. Those both seem high. But I don't know what you are researching.

Finally, no matter what you buy, you MUST get a factory-installed tow package. You are not going to have as much margin as you think, and the tow package is what will get you whatever margin there is.

Bill