I agree with M&M. Get a cheap straight hitch from WalMart, just to get you home. Maybe get one with a short drop - you can turn it over to get a short rise if you need it. Drive carefully. Then, at your leisure, get a WDH installed.
If you check the Technical Reference Library on this board (aka TM Info You Won't Find Anywhere Else), you'll find a WDH tutorial by RockyMtnRay, our resident Tundra expert and towing expert. Ray is a moderator on the Tundra Owners Forum.
You almost certainly do not need a sway bar (aka stabilizer bar). If you decide that you do want to get one, do not get a friction sway control (the one with the little ball you describe). Instead, you will choose a particular WDH design that is called trunnion dual-cam - it has a much better sway control built in. Again, there is a tutorial in the Technical Reference Library.
Bill
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