Nancy
I've followed The WDH discussions pretty closely here and although I recall quite a bit about the Pilot, I don't recall the conversation with American Honda you quoted. Can you give us a link or some direction to the person you are referring to?
Someone (Denny-A I think) posted a lengthy excerp from Honda's info that said they didn't recommend a WDH because it could cause problems if improperly adjusted. I should add that I posted a question on
http://rv.net.com asking if anyone there had knowledge of a modern unibody being damaged by use of a WDH. Thousands of people monitor that site but no one replied with an example. Also, I believe someone here is successfully towing with a Pilot using 1200lb bars on their WDH. That would indicate to me that it's not a problem. Just my $0.02
Thanks for your help.