To remove my valve I used a large adjustable wrench, except that I used the wrench along the axis of the valve rather than at right angles to it. The wrench would now need to be turned like a screwdriver to unscrew the valve, so I clamped a second adjustable wrench on the first wrench's handle at right angles and used that for leverage. I think I may have even had to extend second wrench's handle with a metal tube for even more leverage to break the initial grip.
The drain plug is under the trailer right below where the water heater is. It is a flexible plastic tube sticking out the bottom with a faucet on it. The thing requiring a socket that you mentioned is, I believe, sacrificial anode. You don't need to remove this to drain the heater, but it might be worth checking to see if it need to be replaced.
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