Hi, Mom -
You have a nice group of tow vehicles to choose from. My feeling (which is common but not universal), is that you should choose a tow vehicle rated at 5000 pounds minimum - a bit more will make things easier on both you and the vehicle. The vehicles rated at 3500 pounds are simply inadequate, since a loaded TM will weigh close to, or over, 3500 pounds. Also, choose a vehicle with an honest-to-gosh frame, not a unibody construction.
As to the other questions:
Any manufacturer's Optional Tow Package should have what you need. This will include a Class III (or better Class 4) hitch receiver, 7-pin wiring connector mounted beside the hitch, probably an aux transmission cooler, possibly a numerically-higher rear axle ratio, and possibly an upgraded suspension.
As to the brake controller, most any vehicle with a tow package will have the appropriate electrical connector under the dash - you just plug in your chosen brake controller. However, you should confirm that your vehicle has this connector, and make sure your dealer shows you where it is. In choosing a brake controller, look for the word "Proportional". It should cost about $100 or a bit more - stay away from cheapies that sometimes show up in the $50 range. If you are new to brake controllers, I would suggest a Prodigy - there are several good controllers out there, but a Prodigy (Tekonsha, Inc) is perhaps the most well-known, it is very well-respected, and there are a lot of folks on this board who can answer any questions. Installation can be done by your vehicle dealer, but he will probably charge a lot. All you have to do is screw it to the underside of the dashboard (preferably by the driver's right knee), and plug it into the connector mentioned above.
Sway bars? No, you don't need them.
Weight distributing hitch? As a rule of thumb, a 3/4-ton truck can get away without one, though the ride and the sense of control may be better if you have one anyway. A 1/2 ton truck should have one. You should expect to pay on the order of $250 for one. Buy one with two springbars (not one), rated for 800-1000 pounds - less is too little, and more is not needed. They are available from many manufacturers, including Reese, Draw-Tite, and Hidden Hitch. There is very little involved in installation - you hang the springbar brackets over the frame rails, and tighten a bolt to hold each one in place. There is some setup that is a bit fussy, though not hard. Be sure you read the tutorials about Choosing a WDH and Adjusting a WDH, both found in the TM Reference Library (aka TM Info You Won't Find Anywhere Else).
Keep us posted. You're having fun, asking good questions, and learning a lot.
Bill
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