Kathy -
Think of inserting a leaf into a dining-room table.
In the TM, neither table pulls away from the wall - you are right, they are firmly attached to the wall. Instead, if you look at the street-side table top, you will see that it is made up of two pieces. The piece closest to the aisle can be pulled toward the aisle, and the leaf (that's what is in your picture) dropped into the gap. You may have to release the moving section by pushing/pulling/pressing one of the little silver pieces you describe. We never extend ours, so I've forgotten.
As for the extending legs, you are probably finding that they jam in the up position. And once jammed, they are a pain to get out. This is a common occurrence that is easily dealt with. When you put the table away, I bet you push the lower half of the leg all the way up into the upper half. DON'T DO THAT! Instead, depress the little silver button and slide the lower leg just an inch or two into the upper section.
Bill
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