I think I have sketched out what you describe. Here is my problem. You said
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1a. I do have a battery tender that I use with my current lead acid batteries. That I would hook up in between trips to the trailer brake battery and hook up the trailer brake battery to the 7 pin to charge it while towing.
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The 7-pin is always connected to the TM main battery, or it wont charge the main battery. If you hook up the trailer brake battery to the 7-pin while towing, then you are connecting the trailer brake battery to the TM main battery.
Or am I still not getting it. If I'm not getting it, a sketch from you would help.
Biii