I have to agree with Mr. Adventure, here.
When a manufacturer places a tow rating on a vehicle, there are many, many factors that go into that rating, and only one is "can the vehicle tow this amount". My own statements on this topic:
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I live in the Midwest, where the terrain is low and flat. I can get away with a lot more than those who live/travel to the mountains, for example.
Towing a TM which is low and minimizes sway will obviously be a better situation than towing an upright of the same or less weight. And yet, the weight ratings don't take any of that into account. For that reason, I do feel safe towing a TM at the "limit", as it were. This is a matter of some discussion and debate, and obviously each person must make up their own mind as to what is safe and what isn't. I personally refuse to believe that 3500# is some magic number above which everything goes splat. There is overengineering, legal considerations, marketing, etc. that goes into these decisions as much as the actual capacities of the vehicles.
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Is it any coincidence that many vehicles fall into "3500#" or "5000#" towing capacities? How is it possible that different manufacturers somehow managed to engineer multiple vehicles, and all end up with exactly the same capacities? Or, perhaps these are essentially categories to give a "soft" indication of the towing duty that is expected with this type of vehicle? They lump these cars together, so that those needing more capacity choose a vehicle that is a class (or more) above, so that they do not cannibalize their own sales. Far easier to conform to a "minimum standard" than to actually determine a true tow capacity for each model year of each vehicle.
Honda, for a while, listed their Odyssey (IIRC) as having a 3500# trailer capacity, and a 4500# boat towing capacity. Clearly, they were making a nod to the differences in towing a box and a boat, with the aerodynamics of the boat clearly having an effect on the towing capabilities. Where does a folding TM fit into that? I'd argue that it's more like towing a boat than a Travel Trailer. But, Toyota doesn't split out a difference; they just go for the lowest common denominator. Clearly, there must be some wiggle room, especially since the Toyota vehicles do not ascribe to the "any cargo in the TV must be subtracted from the tow capacity" line of thinking. A Sienna has more ability to tow than an Odyssey, or most other "3500#" capacity minivans, because Toyota is clearly putting more tow power into their vehicles. Yet, it's still ranked as a 3500# capacity. Funny, that. Unless one looks at the other Toyota vehicles, and other minivans, and concludes that perhaps there's more than just towing engineering involved in all of this. Other vehicles with the same rating don't have the same wheelbase, same geometries, same axle capacities, etc. etc. Perhaps it's a comment on transmission longevity; I'll accept that to use my Sienna to tow.
I know that my TM is right at the max weight rating. I know that the rest of my vehicle isn't, even when loaded for camping. I know I have a TM with a low frontal cross-section, that sits nicely in the draft of my vehicle. I know that I'm towing in the midwest, low altitude and no major grades. I know that I can stop in an emergency situation as fast or faster than the vehicles around me, who aren't towing anything (tested that, unfortunately--the guy behind me pulled onto the shoulder, but I stopped fine).
Again, it's all a matter of what you feel safe doing. If I didn't think what I was doing was safe, I wouldn't risk my family doing it, or anyone else on the road. I can stop my vehicle just using the TM brakes. I have known people whose own car brakes stopped working. Accidents can always happen, and we need to do what we can to minimize the risks involved, sure. But, I will continue to contend that, in my particular circumstances, I think that I am operating within reasonably safe measures. Unforeseen things can happen at any time, not just to those towing a trailer.
If I worried about every possible eventuality, I wouldn't leave the house. My normal daily commute is probably far more dangerous than the 5 times/year I tow my TM.
SiennaChat boards had a long, long thread on towing a while back. I know I'm not the only one with this opinion. Yes, this is a big IMO, but so is everything else from everyone else, until we can actually get an automotive engineer to tell us specifics.
